I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
