I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
