Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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