Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
