you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
