shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
