I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
