you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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