Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
