Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
