let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
