Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
