Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
