He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
