I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
