The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
