i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
that is very illegal...i love you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
