i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
