Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
