That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
