Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
