Even the bartender felt bad for me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
