Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
