The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
