So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
