is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
