im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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