Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
