Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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