So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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