I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
