sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
