Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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