you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
