My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it's like heaven, but drunker
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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