he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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