Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
