i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
