listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
