she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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