Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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