the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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