Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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