as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
