i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
