Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
