i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There r osticjed everywhere
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
