i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
