God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
