And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
