i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
