So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
