Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
