We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
